Saving Money
Abolish municipal democracy / Bacon fat is the new cooking oil
Hello Friends,
This place has gone to shit. Every time I look at the human garbage that makes up this city, I vomit a little in my mouth. I can see the pain and anguish surrounding me in council chambers and with the city in general. Everywhere I look. Its been three years since I started my mission to become mayor of Toronto. All these years leading up to this; taking out the fucking (human) trash. Its all gone to shit, if you ask me.
The only thing that really saves my sanity and keeps me going, in this struggle that is my campaign to become mayor of Toronto, is several jelly filled doughnuts a day. One in the morning and two in the afternoon, close to 3:30pm when I usually leave for home.
The gentle, battered doughnut usually sits in my hand while I stare at it for several minutes before gobbling it down. Its crusty exterior provides for a nice surprise when penetrated and the warm blueberry or strawberry jelly oozes out into my salivating mouth. I usually cant contain the entire thing in my mouth during this process and some spills out onto my chin and sometimes my dress shirt.
My assistant usually helps clean my face up, among doing other things.
Thanks,
B.
I reserve the right to choose what I’m having for lunch
Hey Toronto,
What a wonderful Mid July Monday today is turning out to be. My assistant (Lafayette) just told me of a great idea / plan for when I am elected mayor of our great city. She suggested that I fire 22 city councilors and replace them with 100 police officers on the streets of Toronto.
I almost fell out of my chair when she said that! What a fantastic idea!
As you all know, I am about trimming the bureaucratic fat and excess that is municipal politics in the city of Toronto. This just seems like such a crystal clear idea — not only will it save money for our city, it will also make my job as mayor much easier in this city. Think of how much quicker it would be to get things done and make an actual difference in this city with 22 less whiny, immature and downright greedy city councilors?
As soon as I’m done eating this roast beef sandwich I’m going to draft a plan.
How was your weekend? Mine was fairly uneventful. I had a great BBQ on Friday and ended up staying up extremely late with my friends playing poker and drinking beers.
The rest of the weekend I mostly spent sleeping and enjoying my time off.
Take care,
Blob
- New blog post: Update : Just got out of hospital earlier this week http://bit.ly/eGcBCf #voteto
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- http://mellastman.com/2010/10/11/rob-ford-the-new-mayor-of-toronto-get-outta-here/
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