Doing Beer

Greasebag chicken, baked potatoes and some jello

Greetings Friends,

Your friend and future mayor here. I’m just sitting at home drinking a tall can of shitty beer, sitting in my computer chair as my helper is cooking my dinner for me. What a rainy day! So miserable outside isn’t it?

I used to spend a lot of time underneath a particular bridge, right on the border of Etobicoke and Toronto. The Old Mill bridge, which crosses the Humber River, consists of two bridges: one to carry TTC trains on the Bloor/Danforth line, and one for cars on Bloor Street West.






I used to spend a considerable amount of my time either in parked cars in the parking lot below these bridges, or sitting on various rocks or tree stumps along the Humber River.

So many things used to bring me closer to what I call “Absolute Reality”; The realization of what is true and real in the world, moving beyond the misconceptions, perceptions, manipulations and other misleading factors that one is constantly being bombarded with, with ease and gravitas.

It is this Absolute Reality and the perception of what is real and what is not that is the foundation for all my forward thinking ideas. I bring this concept with me from my younger days sitting underneath the Old Mill bridge, by myself along the river or with a “date” in a parked car.

It is the feeling of pursuing something beyond my reach that brought me to experiment with ways that I could jump start this reality based binge. I was about 24 when I first tried crack cocaine. The rush and energy that it gave me after my first inhale was something that I will never forget. It was the most amazing feeling that I have ever experienced.

In those 20 minutes after taking that hit, rationalizations and logic became crystal clear. The sky was open and unobstructed. Shortly after that initial rush, however, everything came crashing down with a severe case of diarrhea, or the “crack shits” as I used to call them.

I would often return to this area to revisit and experience the pure rush of power and energy that crack would bring me. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realized I was taking a shortcut.

If you follow one of the paths along the Humber River, you can still see my impromptu diarrhea hole; Overlooking the beautiful river. A gem hidden within a concrete jungle.

Thanks for listening

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Despite my cold I’m going to Gabby’s in Etobicoke : 2899 Bloor Street West

Hey guys,

I know I made a post earlier today about how sick I was. I think I need a night off from securing Don Bosco high school to just unwind and relax with some burgs n’ beers.

Sometimes I make the trek to the “rich area” of Etobicoke, to Gabbys on Bloor West (just on Prince Edward and Bloor, 2899 Bloor West). I like how small it is and I truly enjoy the Gabby’s chain of pubs. You can catch me on the corner bar stool, sucking back ice cold pints of Canadian with a few pounds of wings and some overcooked fries. My buddy Frank, who works at the A&P Food terminal on Queensway and Prince Edward usually makes his first stop after his shift at the warehouse and we usually talk about work and other various things.

Frank and I sometimes share their 10 pound “wings for two” item on the menu. Both of us don’t care — life’s too short to worry!

As the night wears on, we move from the bar over to one of the booths so that we can continue our conversation uninterrupted in a more intimate atmosphere. Usually we order about 2 burgers at this point as well.

Frank mentioned last time that his doctor has some concerns about his prostate, so I hope to find out the results tonight when I get there. I’m looking forward to seeing Frank and the other regulars @ Gabby’s, their warm faces are a welcome sight in this otherwise cold and unfriendly city.

Take care.

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TGIF : BBQ pork loin and pan seared in a rasberry wine sauce

Hi there,

Boy let me tell you, its great for it to finally be Friday. I’ve taken a few breaks posting here over the last month due to my health concerns and my renewed focus on taking walks along the Humber River.

The crisp cold air on my clammy skin is something that I find refreshing and sensual at the same time. Unfortunately the windows in my office don’t open so I have to take brisk rides in my wheelchair scooter to get refreshed. What I’ve done is poke small holes in the groin / scrotum region of my pants in such a way that the cool air is allowed in to make contact with the skin on my inner thighs as I ride my scooter.

In case you’re wondering, the doctor recommended I temporarily ride in a wheelchair scooter until my condition as a result of putting spicy curry sauce on the tip of my penis has been remedied.

I’m going to be leaving work in about an hour or so, at 2:30pm, to get a head start on my BBQ plans tonight. I plan on BBQing a pork loin , wrapped in bacon and spices / bay leaves, and then pan sear the outer edges to get a crisp texture, soaked in a raspberry wine sauce in the pan, which will then be de-glazed and dripped over the exterior at the final stage.

I also have about 28 beers in the fridge in my Etobicoke home so I think I’m all set!

I’ll try to update again to let you know how its going.

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Going for wings + beer tonight

Hey guys,

I’m in the mood for wings and beer tonight. The wife hasn’t come back from her cottage trip (even though she was supposed to be back 2 days ago), and it gets quite lonely in my Etobicoke house so I’ve decided to go out for wings and beer!

The place I plan on visiting is called Wingporium. Its on 1000 Islington Avenue, in Etobicoke. You can find it here.

Come and visit me there! I plan on getting at least 3-5 pounds of wings to start. They have a wide assortment of wings. I like this place because they usually give me Tums or Pepto Bismol upon request so I can continue eating non-stop.

See you there!

Blab

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My long weekend starts now!

Hey Guys,

I’m sitting in my west end home right now, preparing for a great long weekend. The weather is supposed to be great. I’m going to stay away from the core of the city (Carabana weekend) , but I already have all that I need at my house. I don’t think I’ll need to leave for supplies or anything. I have :

- Over 100 cans of Old Mill beer
- Steaks, sausages, bacon, hamburgers
- Lots of toilet paper

I have been having this disturbing pattern of violent diarrhea over the last 5 days, unfortunately. It all started last Saturday. I was at my buddy Bob McCown’s house and we were playing this game in his wood paneled basement called “No bullshit”.

To play the game, each of us sits in a chair facing each other, with our shorts hiked very high above our belly buttons, as high as you can possibly hike your pants. The shorts are hiked high enough when your testicles bulge out of the opening.

After the shorts are prepared, you must place your hand on the respective players knee — both of you facing each other in your chairs. So your hand goes on your opponent’s knee (in my case , Bob’s) and Bob’s hand goes on my knee.

Now this game can’t be played until your opponents testicles are at least subtly or partially visible through the opening in their shorts, so make sure that you can see your opponent’s testicles and they can see yours.

After the preparations are complete, the first person to start has to say something they think to be true about the opponent. This can be anything as long as it is about the opponent. If the statement is untrue, the opponent must immediately say “No bullshit”.

If the statement is indeed untrue, the player who just stated the untrue fact must move their hand 1 inch closer to the opponent’s exposed testicles.

The game goes back and forth — the loser of the game is the player who’s hand is fully touching the opponent’s testicles.

Since playing that game with Bob last weekend, I’ve had violent diarrhea. Should I see a doctor?

Your friend,

Blarb

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BBQ + Buddies + Beers

Hey Folks,

Just updating you guys. I’m currently in my Etobicoke backyard having a great old fashioned BBQ on my end. I went to Brunos Fine Foods on Dundas West and Royal York Road to pick up a bunch of steaks for me and the guys. My wife is on vacation currently so its just me at my house right now.

One of my favorite things to do is down as many cans of Old Milwaukee as possible and have a nice juicy thick steak. Above all else, this gives me the most pleasure I have ever experienced.

What is your favorite thing to do on a Friday right after work?

Your Pal,

Blob

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