Greetings from your new Mayor of Toronto! Rob Ford!
Hello Friends,
Your friend and new mayor here!
I am so very excited to be elected your new mayor of this great city of Toronto. I am sitting in my car right now, we’re going from our campaign headquarters to celebrate!
It’s been a long and stressful 10 months of campaigning for mayor. I’ve spent at least 2-3 hours a day sending tens of emails to my constituents and potential voters pleading for their support.
Our plans are to go to the Friar Firkin pub on Queen West, just across from the Much Music / Chum City building. Personally I love the Firkin chain of pubs , they provide for a great venue for relaxing, eating fried foods and assorted wings.
Personally, my absolute favorite thing to do whilst at a Firkin pub is to visit the washroom and head straight for the bathroom stall. It is on the toilet paper dispenser that I first check for cocaine residue. It is almost guaranteed that I will find enough residue to scrape into a little baby line to snort.
I love doing this!
It gives me such a rush of power and energy that I am able to last all night and enjoy all the foods / alcohol that the Firkin pubs have to offer.
Several times I have actually found a half gram bag of cocaine, accidentally dropped, on the bathroom floor. One time in particular, there was a bag of cocaine behind the toilet in the bathroom stall. It was covered in human urine , but that didn’t matter to me. As soon as I found it, I pried it open with my chubby fuckin fingers and jabbed in one of my house keys to snort back a quick bump.
With the amount of baby laxative mixed in with cocaine these days, it is a sure thing that my anus will be bursting liquid shit as soon as the cocaine reaches my sinus cavity. I usually stay in the stall a few minutes after scraping toilet dispenser coke and doing a bump, during my stays at the wonderful Firkin pubs.
To you, Toronto, I say thanks. Stay tuned for a wonderful 4 years of Rob Ford. Rob Ford is Blob ford. This is me, I am you. We are one.
Sincerely,
Rob Ford
“We’re the same, you and me. We’re the same, dont you see?”
– Nick , Army store owner from the movie Falling Down
11 Responses to “Greetings from your new Mayor of Toronto! Rob Ford!”
Leave a Reply
- New blog post: Update : Just got out of hospital earlier this week http://bit.ly/eGcBCf #voteto
- New blog post: Hey guys! http://bit.ly/gHe37V #voteto
- New blog post: Rob Ford Mayor of Toronto http://bit.ly/byqMUq #voteto
- New blog post: Just getting ready to be the new mayor of Toronto on my end http://bit.ly/cjjp6a #voteto
- DOIN COKE FROM SCRAPING TOILET PAPER DISPENSERS IN FIRKIN PUB BATHROOM STALLS #VOTETO http://bit.ly/aYpAch
- I LOVE TO DO COCAINE RESIDUE FROM BATHROOM TOILET PAPER DISPENSERS IN FIRKIN PUBS http://bit.ly/aYpAch
- New blog post: Thank the gods its FRIDAY http://bit.ly/ceO5Qg #voteto
- dropped some phad thai on my groin area (not wearing pants or underwear) ... i think im gonna leave it there for a few days
- New blog post: Winter is coming / Applying pressure to my anus http://bit.ly/9OJlq2 #voteto
- http://mellastman.com/2010/10/11/rob-ford-the-new-mayor-of-toronto-get-outta-here/
- Understanding Abusive Relationships 5 Benefits of Learning to Identify Intimate Partner Abuse
- Abusive Relationship Healing Biofeedback and Self regulation For Domestic Abuse Survivors
- Healing From Emotional Abuse Emotional Healing For Domestic Abuse Survivors
- In an Abusive Relationship The Problem With Promises After Physical Emotional and Verbal Abuse
- Domestic Violence Politics Healthcare and Clergy Resistance to Screen For Domestic Abuse
- After the Abusive Relationship Remedies For What Next Do What You Love
- Domestic Violence Healing How Wakeful Rest Can Enhance Health For Domestic Violence Survivors
- Abusive Relationship and Your Health 5 Tips to Insure Proper Digestion For Domestic Abuse Survivor
- Family Violence Lost Mothers Lied to Children and the Legal Abuse Syndrome
- Abusive Relationship Healing 5 Tips For Lifting Depression After Your Abusive Relationship
- Fairness for New Canadians
- Helping Protect Children in Sport
- If Not ‘Barbaric’, How Would the Ignatieff-Liberals Describe Honour Killings?
- Economic Growth and Canada’s Knowledge Economy
- Ignatieff Still Planning a Carbon Tax
- Strengthening the Value of Canadian Citizenship
- Committed to Fighting Cancer
- Ignatieff’s Election Gambit
- Harper Government Helping Deliver Safer Communities
- Working to Protect Consumers
- Toronto Historic Sites presenting events in annual storytelling festival
- The Week Ahead: City of Toronto meeting schedule, March 21 - 25
- Long-term care residents to receive Canada Blooms flowers harvested by volunteers
- Controlled burn in High Park this spring will protect rare forest
- Disasters around the world a harsh reminder of the importance of being 'emergency ready' here at home
- City celebrates Toronto's urban forest at Canada Blooms 2011
- City advises homeowners to take flood-proofing action
- The Week Ahead - City of Toronto meeting schedule, March 7 - 11
- Symposium promotes new ideas to ease poverty, homelessness
- St. Lawrence Market presents cooking camp for kids during March break
Hey Buddy,
Give me a ding. We should go for beers.
Sure thing! You seem like a great fella. Which Firkin pub do you prefer?
We should celebrate your win in style. Beer, and wings at Club OV.
I love the gravy at The Firkin. I like to dip my weenie in it and have my dog lick it off.
THAT’S ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Blob, do you and your brother ever fun together?
Word up rob ford is mayor
i’m pretty excited — i have a slight constant chubby since being elected
You are the wind beneath my wings.
You are the wind between my cheeks.
thanks bub