Hey folks,

I’m home from the hospital now. What a crazy past couple of days it’s been for me. I’ve been feeling slightly depressed now that I’ve finally come home from so much time in the dirty hospital — it’s very difficult to sleep while other junkies and hobo’s are moaning silently in their beds (some even screaming or shrieking loudly or even loud quick high pitched yelps).

On my drive home I was thinking of all the games I like to play to help me release stress, anguish and forget (even if just for a moment) my sexual tensions and constant generalized hatred.

One of those games is called “Choke chubby”. Basically it has to involve 2 other people (preferably men), to make 3 players total.

To play the game you need the following items :

- a jar of strawberry jam
- 3 tennis balls (1 for each player, 3 players minimum)
- one condom
- a salt shaker (filled with salt)

The game is best played in a secluded basement or a fenced in backyard. Each player must sit cross-legged on the floor , with each player’s knee touching the next player beside them. If its three players, you can form a small circle. The more players , the larger the circle.

The first player has to shake the salt over their penis 3 times, evenly spreading the salt. Then they must put the tennis ball on their penis and extend the condom overtop , covering their penis as well as the tennis ball.

As soon as this preparation is done, said player must look at the next player to the left and try to reach for their LEFT knee. Remember your knee’s must all be touching and you must be formed into a tight circle. If you can touch their LEFT knee without losing contact between your left knee and their RIGHT knee, then you must remove the condom and tennis ball and the next player must do the same thing.

If you do in fact lose contact with their right knee and your left knee, you must take the jam jar and spread 3 tablespoons worth on your opponents upper inner thighs. This is intended to be their reward for not losing contact. After the jam has been spread evenly on the winners upper inner thigh, you have to try to remove the jam without using your hands, feet, arms or legs. The trick I found is to use your tongue.

This game usually goes on for hours. I’m actually a regular player of Choke Chubby.

I think I’ll go to bed now for a while as I didn’t get much sleep last night in the hospital.

Your faithful friend,

Blobert